Weighing the True Costs and Benefits of Breaking Free
I am an Entrepreneur, I broke free from the Golden Cage and societal expectations.
After one year of working for myself and on myself while living in a foreign country, I have learned so much. Every day is different and for the very first time I can feel myself.
“She wore a smile like a lifeline, while inside she suffocated in her gilded existence.” — Camilla Läckberg
This quote from Camilla's book the Golden Cage struck me like lightning. The life that I was living before I started my entrepreneurial journey and life in NYC was suffocating me. It was draining my creativity and curiosity. Year by year I lost a piece of what made me unique while polishing my self-made prison.
In this article I want to share a bit more about how life was before breaking out of my Golden Cage and let you in on the price I paid leaving a life that was not meant for me.
The Golden Cage — A Metaphor of Modern Life
The metaphor of the Golden Cage paints a picture of a life that seems perfect, shiny and secure but can feel limiting and unfulfilling. This concept often describes the experience of adhering to societal norms and expectations, such as working a conventional 9–5 job, accumulating material wealth, and following a predictable life path. While this lifestyle offers stability and comfort, it can also lead to a sense of confinement and a loss of personal freedom.
Repression made by YOU
Yes! You are riding this correctly. Repression made by you! Self-imposed repression can be just as destructive as any external constraint, if not worse. It often manifests as a gilded cage, a supposedly secure and comfortable place. However, in reality it suffocates our true potential and happiness.
Darling, there are consequences of repressing your true nature, desires and ambitions for the sake of societal expectation! — It’s the slow, agonizing demise of your very soul.
The comfort of a steady job, societal approval, and predictable routine can be intoxicating, can feel safe.
After all that is what we learn growing up, right?
— Well, at least that is how I grew up for the most parts.
Back in the day, my believe system consisted of the following building blocks:
- Education is key: Go to school, be a good student, follow the rules and get good grates so that you can land a great job.
- Blend in to be accepted: Be yourself but please don’t stand out too much. Follow the path that is deemed “normal” by society.
- Rules are there to be followed: Follow the rules and don’t break them.
- Be efficient: Be a good little worker bee.
We convince ourselves that this is what life is meant to be, that true happiness lies in following the prescribed path, sticking to the believe system that we learned is “right” while growing up.
— But at what cost?
The soul-crushing monotony of repressing our true desires, capabilities and calling. All of that eventually leads to a life half-lived, where every day feels like a repetition of the last and your creativity slowly dies.
In my own experience, the sense of security from my conventional career was a mirage. It offered stability but at the expense of my ambitions and passions. The cage I lived in was not made of iron but of expectations, the underlying need to feel safe and the fear of venturing into the unknown.
Fear used to be my enemy
I remember as it was yesterday when I quit my first job not having another one lined up. It was during the beginning of COVID-19. I was working with one of the big four, good pay, benefits, decent working hours, etc.
It felt good at first. Landing a job that came with financial stability, good reputation and also an opportunity to grow.
The question that I failed to ask myself however was;
— What am I afraid of and why?
The answer to that question became pretty clear the moment when I decided to hand in my notice.
— I was afraid to fail going out on my own. I was insecure, not believing in my strength and capabilities.
Nevertheless, my attempts to break out of this setting failed that time. I caved and went back into the corporate world. The limits, the cage that I accepted to be living in once more, provided me with a sense of security.
What is security?
At its core, security is a construct designed to shield us from threats, both real and perceived. It manifests in various forms: physical barriers, financially, and social structures aimed at protecting our assets and well-being. Yet, the more we seek security, the more elusive it becomes. The very measures we take to fell secure can create a false sense of invulnerability, leading us to overlook emerging threats and vulnerabilities.
Security is the ability to adapt to change and come back stronger from failure.
One thing that we need to understand is that ultimately, security is not a guarantee but a continuous process of assessment, adaptation, and resilience. True security lies not in the Golden Cage that we have build or the societal and governmental systems we learned to trust but in our ability to adapt to change and recover from hard times.
This dynamic perspective of security requires a growth mindset, embracing uncertainty as an integral part of life.
Breaking free — Has it all been a lie?
Breaking free from self-imposed repression, the Golden Cage, requires a lot. Besides immense courage, resilience and knowledge it requires honesty and the willingness to reflect and learn.
You need to be true and honest with yourself and the people around you. I have struggled with that part. I am not proud of it but I think it is important to be highlighted. In my opinion, the core believe that keeps one locked up in that cage is based on not being fully transparent with oneself.
— If you were true to yourself, why would you lie to yourself? Telling yourself that you are happy with a life that feels like a prison?
Simple answer; You are lying to yourself because the truth is scary. Being honest about who you are, what you desire and know will turn your Golden Cage into an ugly dungeon. The shiny and sparkly exterior will fade and you are left with the harsh reality.
Can you handle reality?
Once you made that first step, being true to your self and acknowledging all of you. I want you to ask yourself:
- What were I repressing?
- Why do I cling to the illusion of security?
- What would my life look like if I pursued my true passions without fear and embracing my true self?
- How will change impact my believe system and can I handle it?
Revisiting Beliefs: Relocating to New York City led to a significant evolution in my belief system. Here’s a breakdown of how my perspectives have shifted:
1.Education is key:
Yes, I still think that education is important. However, I see education as Lessons Learned and not learning for the sake of learning or to follow a pre-defined path that society approves of.
Education is a result of failing and learning. Emphasizing the failing.
2.Blend in to be accepted: NO — BE UNIQUE.
The true beauty and power lies within each and everyones uniqueness.
3.Rules are there to be followed:
Obviously there are a lot of rules that are sensible and important. The ones that are meant to be able to live in harmony with people for example. Thus, not all rules are bad and some are needed.
However, QUESTION each rule. Don’t follow blindly just because the masses are. Even BREAK some rules.
Challenging the status quo, think outside the conventional framework, it will lead to innovative solutions and breakthroughs.
4.Be efficient:
I still believe that efficiency is very important. Nevertheless, not for the purposes of being a little worker bee but for the purposes of enhancing you and the life of others.
The shift in once believe system also comes with more autonomy that promises freedom. It challenges traditional thinking, safety nets and demands a high level of self-awareness and adaptability.
The Hidden Costs of Autonomy — Entrepreneurship has a price tag
The hidden costs of autonomy, entrepreneurial freedom are real. The truth is that the glamorous exterior of entrepreneurship often conceals the relentless demands it places on one’s time, energy, and finances.
Don’t get me wrong, I am loving the journey that I am on but I think it is important that it also comes at a price.
Finances: The financial instability I faced during the initial stages was daunting. Even after one year I am sacred at times. From one to another day — Gone were the days of a predictable paycheck. Replaced by fluctuating income, watching your savings shrink and the underlying concern about being able to pay all expenses while building up a sustainable runway.
Social life: Isolation also became a harsh reality. Many times I found myself navigating a lonely path. Socializing became a luxury at times. Most of the times I was simply too tired to go out and hang with friends. It took a while for me to balance work and social life. It is still a work in progress but I have a great little community and supportive friends who understand the demands of growing and building a business.
One-woman-show: The weight of every decision fell squarely on my shoulders. I ended up being the company, CEO, CFO, PM, etc. All the responsibility and roles combined in one person. Nevertheless, this is a limited time. Once in a better position the outsourcing of tasks can begin.
Time: You got to be willing to invest time. Often working late into the night or getting up insanely early does not come natural or easy but it is the price to pay when you get started.
Despite these challenges, I fell in love with the building process and the constant opportunity for growth. Entrepreneurship is not just a career choice; it’s a lifestyle that demands resilience, adaptability, and a deep passion for the journey.
Entrepreneurial Freedom or the Golden Cage?
Before you decide to trade your Golden Cage for Entrepreneurship, ask yourself these questions:
- Can you truly be honest with yourself? If you cannot this will not only impact your journey but also the relationships that you build while being on that path.
- Why Entrepreneurship ? Is your drive based on passion or escape? Ensure your motivation stems from genuine interest rather than merely fleeing a dissatisfying job. If your WHY is not strong enough you are very likely not to succeed.
- Can you handle failure? If you are not willing to fail, entrepreneurship may not be the right path for you.
- Are you resilient and possess self-discipline? Success in Entrepreneurship requires a lot lot of resilience and the ability to manage your time effectively without external pressures.
- Are you adaptable? The ability to pivot and adapt to changing circumstances is crucial for entrepreneurial resilience.
- Can you handle uncertainty? Financial fluctuations are part and parcel of the entrepreneurial journey.
- Do you have a strong network? A reliable support system can provide essential encouragement and guidance during tough times.
A New Kind of Freedom
Entrepreneurship is not a one-size-fits-all solution for escaping your Goldene Cage. While it offers the potential for extraordinary personal and professional growth, it also demands a level of commitment and sacrifice that at times might even feel like a cage in itself.
Weighing these factors carefully can help you determine whether you’re ready to embrace the entrepreneurial life or whether your talents and aspirations might be better suited to a different path.
It is perfectly fine not to want to go down that pathway of Entrepreneurship and there are other ways for you to be living a life outside of your Golden Cage.
However, if you decide to become an Entrepreneur, every step of the journey will be a profound learning experience. The freedom that you sought is real but so are the constraints and responsibilities that come with it.
Ultimately, the decision to become an Entrepreneur is deeply personal and requires introspection and readiness to face both the freedoms and the confines of this path.
Last but not least a callout to all future, current, seasoned entrepreneurs and world travelers:
— I’d love to connect with you, hear your story, share lessons learned and find ways of supporting each other.
Hi, I am Liesa, the founder of Witt Collective, consultant and coach specialized in knowledge and process management.
I am an advocate for simple and innovative solutions that are driven by creativity, made for humans to improve efficiency and effectiveness.
You can connect and collaborate with me.
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